Courtesy of Chuck Norris Facts

  • Jimmy Ngu is so fast that he can leave work at 4:30 pm and arrive home at 3:30 am on the same day.
  • If the Army could recruit Jimmy Ngu, it truly would be an "Army of One". That is all they would need.
  • When Jimmy Ngu calls his doctor, pigs will fly.
  • Not only CAN Jimmy have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
  • Jimmy Ngu doesn't watch the news. Information falls at his feet in supplication at 6 and 10.
  • Jimmy Ngu knows a word that rhymes with Orange.
  • Jimmy Ngu once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
  • The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Jimmy Ngu week.
  • There is no try, there is only Jimmy Ngu.
  • Jimmy Ngu uses a fish to catch bait.
  • Jimmy Ngu invented rap music when his heart started beating.
  • Jimmy Ngu dreamed the impossible dream.
  • You know Jimmy Ngu is in Mortal Combat but you have to beat the game in 5 seconds.
  • When Jimmy Ngu delivers a joke, he doesn't just tell it, he kills it.
  • No matter where he's looking Jimmy Ngu is always facing Mecca.
  • The New Year asks Jimmy Ngu if it should make any resolutions!
  • The Weapon of Mass Destruction isn't a nuclear missile, it's Jimmy Ngu himself.
  • Jimmy Ngu can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
  • Jimmy Ngu can sit in the corner of a circular room.
  • Jimmy Ngu can break every rule made by the Soup Nazzi, and he would still get soup, or beef jerky if he feels like it.

Can’t have enough? Here you go