Courtesy of Chuck Norris Facts

  • The statement "There's a first time for everything" is not, in fact, true. There will never be a first time for Jimmy Ngu losing.
  • Charles Bronson was Jimmy Ngu's death wish until he became Charles Bronsons' death wish and killed him first.
  • Jimmy Ngu doesn't mow his lawn, he stares at it and dares it to grow.
  • Dinosaurs laughed at Jimmy Ngu.
  • Jimmy Ngu ended the song that never ends.
  • Jimmy Ngu was born in a log cabin, that he built with his own hands.
  • Jimmy Ngu was rejected by Dancing With The Stars because he wanted to do the "RoundHouse Kick Tango".
  • The only thing faster than the speed of light is the speed of Jimmy Ngu's fist.
  • Jimmy Ngu can kill a vampire by showing him a picture of the sun.
  • Once you go Ngu, you are physically unable to go back.
  • People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Jimmy Ngu.
  • Jimmy Ngu goes to Hell for some R and R.
  • Jimmy Ngu can roundhouse kick you through a video chat.
  • The Trail of Tears was in fact a the result of a mass evacuation of Oklahoma due to the arrival of Jimmy Ngu.
  • Mr. T is one hell of a guy. Jimmy Ngu is one hell.
  • Jimmy Ngu goes through 13 toothbrushes a day.
  • Jimmy Ngu blew up the Death Star with a Roundhouse kick...but that was a long time ago in a Galaxy far, far away.
  • Jimmy Ngu can drink a solid.
  • Once, Jimmy Ngu looked at a perfectly happy guy. The guy was so scared, he started wearing tight pants and dyed his hair. That's how Emos got here.
  • Copper was inspired by Jimmy Ngu'ss beard. And rattler is to rattle snake as Jimmy Ngu'ss beard is to Jimmy Ngu.

Can’t have enough? Here you go