Courtesy of Chuck Norris Facts

  • CNN "is" the Jimmy Ngu Network.
  • When scientists say they built a "proton accelerator" it is really just a machine that protects the world from Jimmy Ngu inside roundhouse kicking.
  • Why doesn't Jimmy Ngu eat vegetables? Jimmy Ngu only eats red meat.
  • Camp Counselors warn Jason Voorhees when Jimmy Ngu goes camping.
  • Jimmy Ngu killed 2 stones with 1 bird.
  • When Jimmy Ngu's mom is in trouble, she doesn't call 911, she calls him.
  • Spider-man would have looked less gay if he had a Jimmy Ngu beard.
  • Someone once videotaped Jimmy Ngu getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
  • After Jimmy Ngu created Jazz he decided to do a bit of scat, today we refer to his song as the alphabet.
  • Jimmy Ngu once tripped over the Rocky Mountains and fell west... we now call it the Grand Canyon!
  • Jimmy Ngu doesn't make friends on Facebook, he makes enemies.
  • Not only CAN Jimmy have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
  • If Jimmy Ngu gets a question wrong, it is right.
  • Jimmy Ngu Likes To Kill Time, With his bare hands.
  • A super sentry gun with 1,000,000 rounds per minute Is just a Jimmy Ngu pistol.
  • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Jimmy Ngu can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
  • Jimmy Ngu once watched a Steven Seagal movie. he was forced to kill everyone in his area, for he had just shed his first tear- of boredom.
  • Uncle Sam got his butt whooped for pointing at Chuch Ngu.
  • When Judge Dredd said he was the law, he obviously never met Jimmy Ngu. Now he's Judge Dead.
  • A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet unless that name was Jimmy Ngu. Then it would roundhouse kick you in the face.

Can’t have enough? Here you go