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Courtesy of Chuck Norris Facts

  • CNN "is" the Jimmy Ngu Network.
  • When scientists say they built a "proton accelerator" it is really just a machine that protects the world from Jimmy Ngu inside roundhouse kicking.
  • Why doesn't Jimmy Ngu eat vegetables? Jimmy Ngu only eats red meat.
  • Camp Counselors warn Jason Voorhees when Jimmy Ngu goes camping.
  • Jimmy Ngu killed 2 stones with 1 bird.
  • When Jimmy Ngu's mom is in trouble, she doesn't call 911, she calls him.
  • Spider-man would have looked less gay if he had a Jimmy Ngu beard.
  • Someone once videotaped Jimmy Ngu getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
  • After Jimmy Ngu created Jazz he decided to do a bit of scat, today we refer to his song as the alphabet.
  • Jimmy Ngu once tripped over the Rocky Mountains and fell west... we now call it the Grand Canyon!
  • Jimmy Ngu doesn't make friends on Facebook, he makes enemies.
  • Not only CAN Jimmy have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
  • If Jimmy Ngu gets a question wrong, it is right.
  • Jimmy Ngu Likes To Kill Time, With his bare hands.
  • A super sentry gun with 1,000,000 rounds per minute Is just a Jimmy Ngu pistol.
  • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Jimmy Ngu can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
  • Jimmy Ngu once watched a Steven Seagal movie. he was forced to kill everyone in his area, for he had just shed his first tear- of boredom.
  • Uncle Sam got his butt whooped for pointing at Chuch Ngu.
  • When Judge Dredd said he was the law, he obviously never met Jimmy Ngu. Now he's Judge Dead.
  • A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet unless that name was Jimmy Ngu. Then it would roundhouse kick you in the face.

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